Part.2 (of 2) could not have been better scripted in the order of the cosmos. Thank you, Kim Kardashian, for your remarkable timing ending your 72-day marriage this week. You have hit home this meditation for me. Well, I’d still like to take a stab at it, I think. Borax box, at the ready.
3 of the 5 people at the table last week are in the throes (?) of divorce. Person4 is a widower (and otherwise simply needs to breakup with a girlfriend) and Person5 is Single. Very Single.
And as KimK illustrated this week, apparently that is all the rage now.
Jests aside, however, I need two hands to count the number of friends I have going through a divorce right now (and I’m only counting 1 spouse out of the divorcing couple in my friend count). This seems like an inordinately numerous population of people parting ways. Part of this population is characteristic of “we just grew apart” while another part of the population can point to a relatively distinct motivating event/action/etc. Either way, though, I can’t help but take notice.
And with a little sadness, mixed with a noticeable dose of skepticism, held up by a pretty well-fortified wall, the Single Girl has got to ask: why would anyone want to get married anymore?
Don’t get me wrong, the little piece of me that still believes in happily-ever-after is fighting tooth and nail to not be snuffed out…but with weariness I can’t help but wonder if it’s all just destined to be a short-term side trip in life, commenced with profound joy and capped with gut-wrenching heartache and scars, and filled with roller-coasters in between?
I do recognize that most of today’s couples are often a dual-income household, which poses its own inherent stresses…but were there not era-specific stresses 30-, 50-, or 85-years ago? “The Art of Wife” suggests that it is a blurring of both the work and home roles which leads to today’s relationship struggles. But then, again, this op-ed contributor points out that she may as well find herself a “wife”, since she is set up to be a primary breadwinner.
As DocRx laughed the other day when we were debating this topic: “Those
damned women’s libers totally ruined it for us!” We thence resumed fantasizing about being Women of Leisure.
But, I seem to have veered off on a tangent. While being wholly related to the topic at hand, the topic at hand may not be wholly related to Working Households vs. Homemaker Households. And my question isn’t about why marriages seem to be disintegrating all around right now.
So I go back to square one and wonder: is marriage a worthy venture in today’s day and age? Or, does one enter into wedlock, not with ‘Til Death Do Us Part, but instead trepid awareness of the eventual pain of divorce? I would hate to suggest that someone’s reality come to fruition from a seedling belief sowed at the outset.
That little happily-ever-after part of me hangs onto the fact that I am over 30, and the success rate for people getting married “later in life” is substantially higher than those who marry earlier. But that doesn’t totally satisfy my query as to the worth of this once-sacred, honored, and heralded institution.
With any luck, one day perhaps I’ll be able to say: First time’s a charm!
Retro re-post of the day: What Does It All Mean?
Retro re-post bonus: Meditations in Brief