Hollywood has had a little fun with the first-wife theme. From the big screen (“First Wives Club“) to the weekly tv series (“The Starter Wife“), we’ve seen how the out-with-the-old-in-with-the-new plays out. But what about the New? What about the Next Wives Club, or The Second Wife?

I ponder this today because I am (*gasp*) over 30, and with each year, it is becoming abundantly clear that the population of never-been-married, childless men is diminishing exponentially at this point.

So, I contemplate the Single Girl’s path on becoming a potential Second Wife. Suddenly, I am The Hot Young Thing once again! (Because, of course, the courtier in this scenario is invariably older … late 30s? Early 40s?). Suddenly, I feel hated by women I don’t even know because I AM 30 and single and their ex-husbands could be thinking of the next girlfriend (who, of course, has to be younger than the ex-wife). [I live in my head a little too much, sometimes]

Maybe this isn’t all that bad a thing? After all, perfect doesn’t always follow the rules. And generally speaking, the couple of pre-married men I’ve dated have been absolutely great boyfriends: they know what they want, they don’t play games, and they know how to work in a relationship to make it good.

Although, I’m not quite sure what it means to be the Next Wife. I feel like any pressure to have children is lessened (…since the odds are higher that First Wife accomplished this). I also feel that maintaining 30-something physique (or, striving for 20-something physique) is a plus. But, alas, I am at a loss for exactly what this phase of Wife entails. (Goodness… I don’t even know what First Wifeness means).

However, as BeyoncĂ© says: All the single ladies! Let us enjoy our 30-something singleness! We are the Hot Young Things (to the real adult world)! And we are set to script the side Hollywood hasn’t touched yet: the Next Wife. (Oh dear… I think I have to get to the gym, post-haste!)


Retro re-post of the day: The Great Outdoors (or, I Just Don’t Get It).


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