I’m a foodie. Not quite in the Julia Child-lust-after-butter fashion (although, real butter a better cookie make), but enough that my palette isn’t pleased unless I can present it with varied flavors fairly regularly. It’s not uncommon for me to grab foodie friends from work and head out for chicken tawook, lamb saagwala, pad thai, shrimp tempura, or flautas just about any day of the week.

Variety is the spice of life, right?

So somewhere between empress chicken and falafel, I decided that my qi needed realigning. Or something. I was feeling a tad bit out of sorts lately, and neither an adjustment nor a massage was helping. I thought that perhaps I needed to take a bigger step. I decided to embark on the Master Cleanser.

Also known colloquially as the Lemonade Diet, this process is supposed flush your body of toxins and help you refresh. It should be done for a minimum of 10 days, and up to 40. And all you ingest for that period of time is a faux lemonade: fresh-squeezed lemons, pure maple syrup, water, and cayenne pepper (for flavor, of course). It sounded just what I needed!

Day 1 went like this: First drink — palatable, actually almost pleasant; distinct lemon flavor which is neutralized and sweetened by a secondary maple flavor. Verdict — I can get used to this. After lunch drink [drink #3 of the day] — amazingly sustained by this concoction! Hardly feeling hunger at all! This will be easy! Mid-afternoon — I’m slightly sad that I can’t even just taste something different. [I started bargaining with myself as to how many days I would have to endure…never a good thing.]

Day 2: I had to run out early for a meeting, so taking my pre-made bottle of drink with was super easy and convenient. My sense of purpose was renewed! And then I came home after lunch… again, growing sad that I couldn’t just taste something else. …

Needless to say, I tanked. It was a game of mind over matter, and my mind sold me out. My matter was actually doing very well, and I would like to think that some cleansing occurred in 36 hours. But my version of this needs about 8 different flavors … like protein bars — they are all barely palatable, but at least you don’t have to eat strawberry creme every morning. When I figure out how to integrate new flavors into this, then watch out! Toxins, be gone!

And kudos to anyone who can hit 10 days on the Master Cleanser… your qi is in much better shape than mine!


Retro re-post of the day: Communication Etiquette, lesson I.


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