Recently, my cousin brought this horrific story to me. I was so taken aback and disgusted by the sheer repugnance of it all, that I am still trying to right the situation in my head.
The story goes: My nearly 30-year old cousin announced that there was a new lady in his life. The statement came something along the lines of “I’m just f***king Lisa right now, but I think I want her to be my girlfriend.”
Okay. In my need to make sense of this, somewhere my brain remembered an era in college when this vaguely sounded familiar. But the devil’s advocate says “Hey M, that was 10 years earlier than where he is now. By the time you were 29… heck, by the time you were 23, the drunken-hook-up-turned-‘relationship’ was out of fashion.”
So, this worries me. Is Male Cousin an insulated case of direly screwed up priorities? Or, did he single-handedly run a sword through Chivalry’s heart? Is this the next generation in a nutshell?
By stark contrast, another Friend (a mere 3 years older than my Male Cousin) is hopeful for a date to arrive on her doorstep (on time) for a date, with flowers, a well-pressed and put together ensemble, and so forth. Periodically, I think her expectations are little high sometimes and that dating doesn’t always fit the vision that MGM Studios would have us believe.
But, I don’t discourage that hope for two reasons. First, the older I get (and hence, the more dates I have), the more dates start to align themselves with this vision. Chivalry is not dead! And second, there is nothing wrong with this expectation, and perhaps if you hold a guy to it, he will step up and surprise you.
I still can’t get past Cousin’s vision for commencing a relationship, though! Is it a generational question? Or is it a gender question? I tend to think the former, because the older men I’ve dated have not contemplated this route to a relationship. But, then again, perhaps it is because I have held them to an on-time/bouquet standard?
Retro re-post of the day: The Weave Lane: Out-Dated Design or Functional Form?
Retro re-post from last week: Dressing the Part (the Work Edition).
Retro re-post bonus from last week: Meditations in Brief.