Yes, everyone has a purpose. And I finally figured out what the Single Girl can do. The Single Girl is available!

No. Not in that way. Well, yes, I suppose in that way, too… but not like that.

Suddenly, the Single Girl becomes the ultimate girlfriend. She becomes the ultimate girlfriend because she’s an on-call resource who is ready in times of crisis.

Observe: who do you call when you’ve just been dumped by the d-bag guy you’ve been dating? The Single Girl, who always answers her phone, knows exactly what names to call him, and is over at your house in 2.3 seconds with tissues, Xanax, and a shoulder to cry on. Who do you call when your newborn is 3 weeks old and you haven’t left the house since you brought her home from the hospital? The Single Girl, who doesn’t have to arrange a baby sitter or clear it with her husband that she is going to take you out on a Tuesday night because you desperately need adult interaction sans tiny people.

The Single Girl is a handy friend to have because she magically appears when called upon, doesn’t answer to anybody but herself (this is key when you need a wingman after said d-bag breakup and end up getting in a 4am), and her biggest concern during your time of need often is you, the friend.

So perhaps this is a period in my life where I draw on Incan beliefs. The Inca, believing in reincarnation, were determined to the be the best little (fill in the blank) during that lifetime, in hopes of a better reincarnation. Perhaps, (in a much more condensed version) I will be the best little Single Girl I can now, in hopes of a better crack at the relationship wheel further down the road.

Because when the friend in need calls, I will come bearing wine, tissues, and a baseball bat, if necessary.


Retro re-post of the day: God’s Way of Evening the Score (or, Size Does Matter).

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