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Still single over here. Have never been married. Haven’t had a bridal shower yet. Only showers I know are taken at 6:20am, or after a soccer game. Have an … um … eclectic assortment of appliances.

Whilst getting ready for work this week, I put on what looked to be an ironed shirt (this is a rare find in my closet). I buttoned it up, tucked it in, and observed in the mirror the kinked collar that had gotten disheveled in the closet. I didn’t give much pause to it because mentally I was already moving on to my hair and the appliance I was about to plug in to work on that.

As I crossed into my bathroom, the fleeting thought crossed into my mind: could I possibly go straight today (instead of curly), and perhaps (just maybe) fix my kinky collar at the same time? After all, it is called an iron.

It’s not like I don’t have the right appliances. I think I generally do, despite never having been the recipient of a party specifically to receive such things. But on occasion, you sometimes have to be resourceful.

Speaking from experience, a blender is not a good substitute for a hand mixer (electric or not), particularly when making something like whipped cream or mousse.

On the other hand, I hear the oven is a great spare drawer for clothing. And if you are also living the single-girl life, there’s a high likelihood this appliance is already clean and unused, so you can place the sweaters in there, pronto.

A nail file serves as an excellent make-shift flathead screwdriver in a pinch (as do paper clips, if the screw isn’t too tight).

Oh, and a personal favorite and safety tip of the week: empty wine bottles along the bedside make wonderful bludgeoning objects. Sure, visitors may suspect wino-tendencies upon seeing an empty bottle next to the bed, but they’ll be none-the-wiser and you may just save yourself one day from an inconvenient intruder.

Really, the possibilities are endless. Next time you take the coffee-maker out for a spin, consider all the alternative uses right at your fingertips!

Oh, and I did go curly the other day; I simply dug out my (clothing) iron and proceeded to flatten my collar in my kitchen on a cutting board. I mean, it’s a board, right? Does it have to be “ironing”?

~M

Retro re-post of the day: Institutions.

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