I couldn’t imagine a more appropriate day to contemplate this than the international premier of Sex and the City 2: being fabulous. For more than a decade, Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte brought chic style; girlfriend fun; passion, romance and love as well as heartache, breakups, and challenges; and (of course) spectacular shoes to us every week. We learned how to order a cosmo, how to walk through Times Square like it was our personal catwalk, and how to embrace your inner circle of closest girlfriends. So, this morning, let’s contemplate Fabulous. [if I could footnote in here, it would say: I don’t pretend to think I am Fabulous, but I am personally enjoying the challenge of thinking about it]
How to be fabulous (an unreliable, yet contemplative guide for my favorite ladies… a work in progress and open for revisions).
- Buy and wear clothes that make you feel sexy. If you order a dress and it’s only so-so, it’s not worth the material on which it is made. Dresses exist for a reason: social functions… often parties. How can you party if you are only feeling so-so? Have you tried to Cupid Shuffle while feeling dowdy? You cannot effectively walk it by yourself if you aren’t feeling sexy.
- Flirt with men. You don’t have to know them. You don’t have to have intentions or expectations. And it can be completely harmless. But hesitate before approaching a door and let a random stranger hold it open for you… and then flash your million-watt smile and look him the eye to thank him. Trust me, you may never see him again, but you just made his day. Giggle at a cute waiter’s attempt at being charming. Try winking. It’s good practice.
- Spoil yourself periodically. This one doesn’t have to cost anything (although, an online auction from Portero.com or a lunch-time trip to Banana certainly qualifies), but what you must do is take time out of your life to do something that is completely self-serving. If you do it to the exclusion and inconvenience of others, even better. Indulge in a bubble bath with candles and music. Enjoy an hour on the porch in the evening with wine. Take a walk and turn your phone on silent (not even vibrate; but you are taking it for safety reasons, of course). You are allowed this. Give yourself these permissions.
- Spend time with the people who make you glow. Friends, lovers, family. Whoever it is who makes you smile, laugh, encourages you, supports you, and with whom you enjoy your time, surround yourself with them. Keep them close and grow these relationships. Sometimes, you may even consider jetisoning the ones who bring you down or rain on your sunshine. And that’s okay too, because your well-being and happiness is ultimately the most important.
- Don’t hang your happiness on someone else. Be strong enough to make yourself happy. Because at the end of the day, when you give someone else this power, you will never achieve total happiness, or you will spend your life looking for someone to fill a void. Be self-reliant in this department!
- Have a vice. Mine is ice cream. Well, and maybe also wine. Whatever it may be, keep a vice! It’s your way to be naughty (in whatever degree you choose) … and it’s all for you.
- Have a guilty pleasure. I am not totally sure how, but this is not the same as a vice. A guilty pleasure is something you like but often shouldn’t (and yet still somehow different than a vice; technically, I think vices are supposed to be illegal, immoral, or socially unacceptable… guilty pleasures are just plain fun!). Reading trashy novels? Yes. Crushing on an unavailable guy? Definitely. [footnote 2: I recommend this one as a lust from afar; I do not encourage trying to conquer this guilty pleasure or actually acting on it… eye candy counts just as much]. Having Britney Spears on your iPod? Absolutely! Guilty pleasures are like the icing on the cake; it’s already pretty damn good … but with the icing, life just got that much more better! Go ahead: have a few!
- Believe in yourself. Your mother did. In fact, she probably told you this, as well. Believe in yourself; there isn’t much of anything that you can’t do or accomplish. And she really is right. Look in the mirror before you leave the house today. Really look… not just a glance over to make sure you put eye-liner on both lids; and see your beauty. See your strength. See you… and believe in the woman looking back at you (because she listened to your mom, and she believes in you).
Retro re-post of the day: Hedging Our Bets.