I dig Darwin. I think he probably had something figured out. But there’s one thing left out there that I still just don’t quite get.

Men’s nipples.

Like the elusive female orgasm, they serve a great function for sexual arousal, but do they have a biological function? And did they ever? Were men originally like those frogs in Africa [it’s been a few years since I’ve had biology… that could just be a red herring], or a clown fish — could they randomly become female when necessary (sex organs and all)? Or, at one point in the history of man, did they bear milk? I can’t imagine there is some lactose gland behind them. But, as an English major, this was far from my field of study.

So Mr. Darwin, how do you explain that one? Why have men’s nipples not simply just evolved away? Like tails, they aren’t horribly necessary today (although I do know some men who will debate that with you). I see no biological function. Heck, I don’t see much of any sort of function, really.

But perhaps there is some deep purpose for men’s nipples that we have yet to discover. It’s being utilized daily, yet we overlook it’s very existence. Perhaps. Or not.


Retro re-post of the day: To the Guy at the Grocery Store (an open letter)

2 thoughts on “Theory of Evolution (or, On a Man’s Chest)

  1. Lmao, you are so funny!

    It’s true, what’s the point of having them on a man? All your questions are valid and I’m also wondering the same thing. Um, wouldn’t their chest look weird without nipples though since we’ve come to get used to them being there? Lol.

    • I think we expect them… and probably some small part of us wants most of the same things on the opposite body [key areas, excepted, of course], because it’s comfortable and what we know. But c’mon! They kind of make me laugh sometimes! 😉

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