During nachos & Netflix the other night with MsPa, I had the brief and fleeting thought: if only I could find this sort of relationship with a guy, it would be ideal. I am not wishing MsPa to be a guy, nor am I saying I am having thoughts about her. Nothing of the sort. What I meant was that as easy, laid back, fun, undramatic, entertaining, and honest as our friendship is (most close girlfriends probably know this friendship), those are all the things I wish for in a good, healthy relationship with a guy. So why is it so hard to find?
The next fleeting thought I had came as I was on my way to soccer this week. It’s a beautiful, sunny, early-Autumn day; the top’s down and I am on my way to play soccer with a great team. Life is good! And the fleeting thought: I am satisfied with my life right now. In fact, I would go so far as to say I am fulfilled. I have an engaging and challenging but fun job, I am blessed to be able to work with different non-profit organizations in the area changing lives, I have darling dogs, an amazing group of friends…
[Pause the not-so-fleeting thought for soccer game.]
…so what value would “a man” or “relationship” add to my life right now? [the convergence of the 2 fleeting thoughts on my way home from soccer] Again, feeling the need to clarify: I am not anti-men [my girlfriends can attest to this], and I am not joining a convent any time soon. However, with all the points above in my favor, the only thing I am “missing” is a particular guy in my life?
Hmmm… I could start combating the arguments one by one. And don’t think you can sneak the sexual relations one in there because Pure Romance has me covered. In all seriousness, though, is there anything out there that absolutely requires a man today?
This does bother me though. Because I really do enjoy dating, falling in love, and spending time with the right guy. That certainly is a wonderful thing. But I wonder about some of my girlfriends who base their life happiness on whether they are in a relationship, and somehow equate being single to swimming in a great void.
Right now, I take the Raymond Carver view: anything else in my life for the good would be gravy. A fun, quality, dating relationship with a guy: “Pure Gravy.”