“Do you ever want to have kids?”
Ms. Pa hit me with that one out of the blue the other night. I didn’t have to stumble for an answer (this one I know), but rather I wasn’t expecting the question, given our greater conversation. Despite being momentarily taken aback, I explained my positioning on having children and that at my (ripe old) age of late 20s, my biological clock is still sitting in its box at the store, where it has been for the better part of my life.
After resolute declarations that carried us all the way around the bay, I came around to: “After all, I am spoiled, and in my adulthood, I have made myself this way. I still want to play. And right now, I’m just beginning to be able to.” I cited our “spring break” trip to Texas, ladies’ nights out, weekends away, and a handful of the other things that I consider part of spoiling myself… all of which I want to continue doing for a while before starting a family.
And then Bob & Sheri gave it a name yesterday morning. “Twits.” Not ninnies, but Teenage Women in their Thirties. This is the new term applied to the Gen X-Thirtysomethings who continue a carefree lifestyle like high school or college, in lieu of major commitments like marriage or children. Often these women have solid careers, are well-dressed, confident, and intelligent.
I can’t say that I am partying like I did in college (that would be hard to live up to, let’s be honest). But I do feel some degree of likeness to this new moniker. I am not going to sit idly by until marriage and children come along. That is not how I choose my life. Instead, I choose to live vibrantly until the right one comes along, with him bringing marriage and then children.
Although I feel slightly empowered now that my lifestyle choice has been named, I also have the fleeting thought about the flipside. How are men to react to or embrace this? As if dating and mating weren’t difficult enough, I imagine this throws a little curveball at men? Because no longer are women sitting at home waiting for Mr. Wonderful to show up… rather, women are out enjoying life, despite Mr. Wonderful.
I can’t speak to the other Twits out there, but I am sure my mentality and behaviors offer a mixed message. I play hard. But at the end of the day, I would like the marriage + kids thing (the absolute caveat being that it be with the right man). So does my playing hard send the message that I don’t want to settle down? That isn’t the case, necessarily. As I mentioned to Ms. Pa, I’d really welcome playing hard for a few years with the right guy before really settling down.
So where does this leave this generation? The Gen Xers haven’t really ever followed the rules anyway. So maybe it’s time to play now … and save the child-rearing for a more mature time. I’m not complaining. After all, it worked well for my parents!
Don’t forget to check out the Lunar Eclipse tonight when the moon rises (approx. 8:40pm Eastern).