The other weekend I actually read a Playboy issue. No, I don’t know which one (but if I had to guess, it would have been December from the amount of naughty Santa cartoons). There was one section where readers write in and seek advice…a sort of Dear Abby column.
Most queries were quite short (a sentence or two). And there were several in this issue. The topics ranged from “What’s the Best Plasma TV on the Market?” to “My husband’s fantasy list includes vegetables… what do I do?”
One thing struck me funny though… two or three people actually wrote in on the topic of three-somes, or inviting someone into the marriage for sex. The actual questions surrounding the topics varied, but the core concept was still there.
Maybe I’m old fashioned (in fact, I think we’ve established that several times over the course of my blogging), but what happened to monogamy in relationships? I’m not broaching the topic of affairs or cheating. No. Instead I am facing the clear notion of knowingly inviting a third person to share your bed. I thought three-somes were so college?
Is sex between married people no longer a sacred act shared between two people on a level that only those two can share? Maybe this goes along with the query from a year ago, that people can engage in no-strings-attached sex, or acquaintance sex, without anything deeper. I can’t imagine the “thrill”(?) of adding someone to a relationship for your (sexual? Physical? Mental?) gratification. Then again, I’m not trying particularly hard to imagine this, either.
But I still can’t shake this thought from my head. Not in a curious sort of way, but in a shocked and somewhat disturbed sort of way. I’m quite a selfish person and I don’t want to share. Again, this is one trait that I’ve established. So the selfish side of me would not want anyone else partaking in what (should be/could be/is) all mine.
I am not judging. If this is your thing, then feel free to try to (verbally) convince me that my old fashionness could use some updating. But my thought is: if your sex life in your marriage is so lacking that you have to have “help” from someone else, wouldn’t it be easier to just rent a porn flick? And how strong is your marriage anyway if the one thing that you and your spouse can enjoy to the exclusion of all others is inoperable without a third person? I feel like this is just one big Pandora’s box that you shouldn’t even give a second thought to.
Normally I’m a “don’t knock it until you try it” type of person. But on this one, I’m knocking and NOT trying.