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I’m starting today with the basic presumption that men and women are (very) different creatures. However, they are, at the same time, alike. To be more specific, men and women may have two very different reactions to the same stimulus, but for the same reasons.

Today I am talking about the human sex drive, or perhaps even, the libido. Men and women have seemingly different reactions.

Case in point: this past weekend Old Guy (formerly “New Guy”, renamed since no longer dating) and I spent a few hours together on very platonic terms and even had a nice, cordial dinner over a few drinks. Nearing the end of the evening, we somehow wound up on the topic of sex (as a fair number of youthful minds tend to).

You must understand, however, that I can (and often do) carry on a conversation on said topic no differently than I would perhaps talk about the state of the budget crisis, the cost of car insurance, or some other inane topic. I was in such mode on Saturday night.

Old Guy reminded me that the male gender tends to have the urge to “get off” (by any means available) considerably more frequently than women. I laughed and thought to myself: I could certainly go without a lot longer than you could even dream…and  I will continue to do so today.

Here is where I made a mistake. I wrongly attributed this difference to: (a) men needing to fulfill a physical need/urge/etc., while (b) women would rather fulfill the same goal from a mental need/urge/etc.. I surmised that women could abstain longer due in large part to the mental engagement that sex serves for them.

But I think I stand to correct myself. I believe it is considerably more elementary or simple than this. On reflection, I think the very different responses (ie: seemingly wanting to “get off” more frequently vs. abstaining more (not getting off for the sake of getting off)) come from the same innate, primal drive: the drive to procreate. And it is in this same origin that we find two very different responses.

This very natural urge is very different between the genders. For men, their animal instinct is to impregnate as many as possible and stack the gene pool. Biological backing: sperm are produced on a regular basis. For women, their animal instinct is to become impregnated by the most qualified male. Biological backing: eggs are a fixed resource. So while the males of a species are rather indiscriminate in their sexual goals (which, to an outsider, looks like “wanting” to get off for the sake of getting off), females are inherently more selective (and don’t necessarily have an overwhelming “need” to get off as frequently).

So there is a biological observation (no claim or bearing on true scientific proofs) that crossed my path lately. And for lack of a better phrase, I offer all apologies for the use of “get off”, as crass and stark as it is.

But don’t get me wrong… While it happens, on average far less often for women, I am fully aware of the occasional want (need?) for a female to also simply get off for the sake of getting off. [And I know more than a couple of you readers who can support this proclamation, as well. 😉 ]

And on a most random and irrelevant aside, I had to go to the store at an obscenely early hour of the morning this morning (5:45am), and on the way, I passed a peacock by the side of the road!

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One thought on “Wants vs. Needs

  1. Pingback: Montreal Flavor (or, Welcome, Stranger) « Thursday Morning Meditations

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