Every once in a blue moon, my Dad will accuse me of “overthink.” Usually it revolves around an immediate situation to which I have put too much time and cerebral energy. The situations are usually rather short and cursory and typically I’m not one to “overthink” bigger, longer-term matters.
For instance, I don’t tend to analyze old relationships. Sometimes, in the beginnings of new ones, I will catch myself letting my mind run away with itself. At this point, I tell myself to wait a day or two, and usually whatever it was that I was blowing out of proportion turns out to resolve itself (usually in a much more desirable fashion than my mind had me believe). But the old relationships I usually chalk up to having run their course and therefore warrant very little (if any) further regurgitation. They were what they were. (Period).
However, this past weekend I had a moment. Granted, this is the first time I’ve had this particular moment, so it struck me as curious. Whilst en route to Valpo Friday night, something made me think about Last Boyfriend… and the immediate thought that entered my head was: “What was I thinking?”
Coupled with a tendency to avoid overthink with regard to former relationships, I usually also try to think of them as an experience for what it was… not something to regret. But this time the moment caught up with me and I actually scrutinized the relationship with Last Boyfriend.
More than a few of you reading this saw me quite happy for a while this last year. And in retrospect, I can acknowledge the good things, in amongst the chaos. But at the end of the day, and with some welcome time down the road, I can effectively look back and ask myself, “What in God’s green earth did you do that for?”
But maybe we each need one of those relationships. Maybe we need something so out of the ordinary and so off the wall that we will appreciate the next one. Or perhaps it will wise us up to the choices we make when presented with options. Whatever the reasoning behind it, you can’t beat yourself up for a “What was I thinking” relationship. Instead, I found it quite humorous and have been laughing about it for a while. Sometimes you just need to make yourself laugh and that then is what it’s supposed to be.