So, I think I have two basic, over-arching questions here:
1. At what point are you actually “dating” someone?
2. Is dating more than one person at a time taboo?
Ok. So the whole relationship lingo is troubling at best, and confusing otherwise. My Dad and I have talked about this ad naseum over the last several months because he, too, was trying to wade through the dating pool. He has come out successfully on the other side. Meanwhile, I have voluntarily jumped back in.
Anyway, that’s beside the point. What he and I would discuss is what we termed “the relationship spectrum.” He felt that, in increasing order of seriousness, the phraseology went something like this: seeing, dating, (something denoting exclusivity), and then a merging of lives/households. I think, for the most part, I tend to agree with this.
So, looking to question 1, at what point do you transition from seeing someone to dating? Cowboy (the latest love interest) has been sort of seeing someone for a little over a month. Well… they’ve been out on three dates. Don’t get me wrong, I support him on this because while he may be a love interest, he’s also 1100 miles away and I’m being realistic. But this got me thinking: when is he considered to be “Dating” her? I use that phrase when talking with him, but he denies it. He says he isn’t dating her. Nor is he seriously dating (anyone) right now, for that matter. Maybe he doesn’t want any sort of commitment sounding words being used? Not sure. But it’s applicable across the board… when does something cross the next step and become “dating”?
Which transitions nicely to question 2: if you are dating someone, does it intimate exclusivity? Or can you “Date” more than one person without it being taboo? Again, I reference my Thursday night vice, Grey’s Anatomy, and think back a few episodes to when Meredith sat at Joe’s Bar and spoke to Derek and Finn at the same time. She said, “I like you and I like you. I thought I had to decide but I think I owe it to myself to consider the options. It’s called dating.”
Does this really happen anymore? Because if it did, I would like to throw my hat in the ring with Cowboy. But the lady in me usually backs down when another woman has potential with a man. I know… sometimes you have to fight for what you want, but that’s not my style. And conversely, then I wouldn’t feel so bad when Residual and I get back together and I want to also date Cowboy.
Granted, as I tell Cowboy on a nightly basis, I don’t like to share. Maybe it’s the only child in me. Maybe it’s the fiery redhead. But at the end of the day, I wouldn’t want to share him with another woman. And he echoed the sentiment regarding me.
So maybe dating ala Grey’s style is a thing of the past? Or maybe dating itself has gone by the wayside all together…