I would like to think of this particular blog post as being interactive. By that, I mean, I would like your opinions on this topic. If you prefer to comment anonymously, please drop me a message and I will post your comment. Likewise, if you have friends who may have an interesting take on it, please direct them to the blog. Until then, Happy Thanksgiving!
So, with that being said, let’s get down to it.
So today is Thursday, which means my *one* vice comes on at 9pm/8 central. Yes, it’s Grey’s Anatomy. Now, as the show would lead me to believe, casual sex is not only acceptable, it seems to be running rampant (at least in one Seattle hospital).
So my question is: is this the norm? Or am I so old-fashioned that my notions of only sleeping with someone you are actually dating are passé? Or does Seattle Grace exist in a vacuum?
A girlfriend (hereinafter referred to as “Girl”) called the other day after having spent a wonderful day and evening with a quite remarkable new man (“Man”). Everything was quite spectacular. He held her chair at dinner, doors were opened everywhere, and they never stopped laughing. It was quite the first date, as she described it. The perfect night included breath-taking kisses and cuddling during the movie. So far, Girl has no complaints. But what comes next is the crux of her call: things went from PG to a lot closer to R after the movie ended. Girl explained to Man that she doesn’t sleep with men she isn’t dating, or in a relationship with. Girl tells me that Man was awesome and never tried anything she was uncomfortable about nor did he add undue pressure. They apparently ended up making out a bit more and fell asleep, quite literally, in each other’s arms.
As a friend, I think: what’s wrong with all this? Why is Girl calling me other than to tell me she’s met a great guy? Well, here it comes: “Is it bad that I didn’t sleep with him?”
My take is: No. You did what you were comfortable doing. I can’t fault you for that. And if he calls later and takes you out again, then he’s a good guy and he will be fine with waiting until you are comfortable. If not, au revoir.
But then again, I’m perhaps a bit old-fashioned. I think to some degree, it’s more respectable to keep it PG until you are dating. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging any of you. Lord knows that I haven’t always been necessarily this angelic myself.
But, Girl’s call got me to thinking. In this day and age, is it passé to not sleep with someone right away? And is it, in fact, respectable? Or am I living in 1954?
This is where I need help from you, my readers. Men and Women. What’s the right answer? Is there one?