A few weeks back, I read a little online article about why cheating is easier than breaking up with someone. [If I could find it again, I would direct you to it here]. The gist of the article sort of gave a supporting argument, trying to explain why cheating occurs more often than we’d like to think about it.
This article was followed by one (a few weeks later) on how to Let Go of Lost Love. Of course, this made me wonder if people actually need counseling on the etiquette and technique of breaking up.
I, too, have battled the break up quandary. And instead of hanging on to an over-dead relationship and allowing fate (or a fantastically hot man) to tempt my heart elsewhere, I took the road I thought most prudent: end the relationship. *gasp*
It even sounds bad. End. Like el fin. No more. Zero. Not a chance. Thunder booms when people talk about the end.
And we all dread it. Sometimes I think it’s worse to be the one to end it rather than to be the recipient of the ending (or, in less eloquent terms, “being dumped”). Some part of us wants to still save face and not be the bad guy… “Oh, you were the one who dumped so-and-so.” …”Yeah, he didn’t get over that for months.” Yikes. That hurts. And I’m sure somewhere deep inside we don’t want to hurt the other person or be mean.
So instead we hold on. To what? To our own preservation? But what happens when someone else does come along? That’s where the cheating part happens. Because oftentimes the relationship part has been luke-warm for awhile. And it’s still easier to run with your heart than to bear the thought of breaking someone else’s.
Or perhaps that’s part of the scheme? To cheat, and give reason to break up (or with whom to be broken up, given the other person finding out). But I still ask, at the end of the day, doesn’t it hurt someone more to be cheated upon? Are you really sheltering their feelings by not breaking up and then letting yourself engage elsewhere? I think not. I think the ultimate hurt and betrayal come from cheating.
So what really makes cheating that much easier? Because it invariably leads to an “indirect” breakup? I don’t know. And as usual, this is not a topic of which I am an expert… nor even one in which I care to find out (from any side).