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Appearances are important. Everything from our daily dress to how we interact with our colleagues reflects on who we are. I think this is a point we are all willing to concede.

And women are particularly adept at carrying on a facade, I’ve found. If the world is falling down around us, we can put on a smile, bake some cookies, and tell everyone (quite convincingly) that everything will be okay. And people will believe us.

A phrase I’ve been inclined to use lately is that “Perception is 90% of reality.” If people perceive everything to be okay, even though the world may indeed be falling down, then people are happy and our facade has worked.

Aren’t we really just lying, though? Aren’t these facades nothing more than a fake reality? And who are we protecting? Ourselves? The people around us? Are we only just making ourselves look complete or our families idyllic? Is the facade worth the effort put forth?

After a while, Residual would get upset with me because I took down my facade. If I was mad at him, I let him know. I never let it become a blaming game, but I did speak my mind if I was upset (with him, with whatever). And this bothered him. Was I supposed to put on the smile every time even though I was screaming inside?

At the end of the day, we all have our moments. We all have bad days. So why not embrace them? I think it would help overcome that bad day if we allowed it to exhaust itself instead of hiding it under a smile.

And don’t get me wrong, about 93% of the time I am quite chipper naturally. But it’s the 7% days that are down right awful. These are the days that I wish I could crawl back into bed and wake up tomorrow anew (and odds are it will be a 93% day and it will all be good). But that’s not reality. Today, I will likely put on a smile, pull myself together, and tell the world that everything will be okay. Because that’s what we women do.

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One thought on “Façades, or Perception is 90% of Reality

  1. Pingback: Like a Kid Again (or, It’s All Coming Back) « Thursday Morning Meditations

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